Grandma passed away on a Friday morning. We had driven up to
see her the night before and I don’t really feel like it was her that we were
looking at because she was so close to death. It was really obvious that it was
her time to go. The last time I had seen her was at Easter dinner at her house,
which my mom pointed out was pretty interesting. The whole family was together
that day…every one of my cousins, aunts and uncles, sisters, etc on that side.
Easter was the last time we were all together and now that I look back on it,
that’s pretty significant. Because of the Savior, we will all be together again
one day. I’m glad that I know that because otherwise it would be completely devastating.
It’s already so incredibly hard not having her here. I feel so bad for people
who don’t know that there is life after death.
The morning of her funeral was hectic because we were trying
to get some photos printed to display but Wal Mart wasn’t open and Tyler went
to a place where all 4 photo machines were broken, and then finally to Staples.
I went to the church house to help the cousins get the tables set up to display
her items. We displayed little night gowns and dresses that she had made for
us, a few of her American girl and Barbie doll dresses and some cute photos of
her, her fried chicken and the fried chicken recipe that she was holding when I
photographed her making it last year.
The closed casket viewing was in one room and the funeral
was in another. I’m so glad they chose to do a closed casket. I HATE open
caskets and won’t even go up to them. I don’t want to remember people that way,
after their spirit leaves their body. It’s just not them any more. I want to
remember them with life in their body, smiling and talking to me. They closed
the doors and we had the family prayer, then walked after the casket. It was
very touching to see a lot of people that grandma loved following behind her.
It made me feel so close to my family. We are all traveling in this world
together, loving each other and helping each other get through, and when one of
us passes on, we mourn because we miss them. We know they’ll still be with us
though. When I walked into the chapel and saw other people there that loved
her, I started crying even more and couldn’t stop so I had to look down and not
look into people’s eyes.
The funeral was the best funeral that I have ever been to.
Each word and song was beautiful, and testified of a life well lived. I learned
things about my grandma that I had never known before. She was an expert
seamstress and sewed doll clothes as a business. Her Barbie clothes were my
favorite. My uncle Bruce told of a story where she was asked by several really
wealthy women to focus her doll clothes making business solely on them so they
could have beautiful doll clothes to display on their collector dolls. They
were willing to pay a lot of money for this. My grandma declined and continued
to sell her doll clothes at reasonable prices at the Quilted Bear because she
said that she had the choice to make a few old ladies happy and make lots of
money, or sell her clothes at reasonable prices and make lots of little girls
happy. She really had life figured out. She knew what the important things were,
the eternal things. She knew she couldn’t take money with her when she passed.
But the happy memories that those little girls have playing with her doll
clothes will last forever.
Stories were also told of her spending hours on her church
assignments to teach Sunday school. She would make puppets and create games so
that the kids would remember the stories that she taught of the gospel. She
would make sure that each child felt loved and would invite them over to her
house for activities. I taught primary for several years and not once did I
invite any of my kids over to my house. She really went the extra mile. She
gave up time for herself to make sure that each child was loved.
Another thing that really impressed me about her is that she
was very humble. I didn’t know this until the funeral, but before she died she
had a big box full of all of the awards she won for her sewing. 1st
place ribbons from the State Fair, things like that. She wanted to win a sewing
machine. Oh, how I love her so much. She kept this box hidden in a drawer and
never mentioned it to anyone until a few months prior when she brought it up to
my uncle Bruce. In a world where we all want others to know how amazing we are
and brag about our talents, she just quietly and humbly lived her life, making
huge impacts on other’s lives in her way. She didn’t put these ribbons and
awards out on display. She just simply wanted to win a sewing machine.
Whitney sang the song “For Good” with Tommy and each child
of my grandma’s spoke. They did an incredible job and I had no idea how
beautiful Whitney’s voice is. My mom did a great job. She hates speaking in
front of people but she really did a wonderful job of expressing her love of
her childhood. She always said that she had the perfect childhood. She told of a story when she told one of her
friends in Texas that she had a perfect childhood and her friend was absolutely
fascinated by it. Her friend is a therapist and she said that she has never
heard anyone say that before. She hears of sad stories of the way that children
grew up and crazy parenting, and she was so incredibly fascinated by the fact
that my mom said that she didn’t have any complaints about the way that she was
raised. She kept asking her detailed questions about it.
We drove out to the cemetery afterward where they took her
casket. It was a beautiful casket with pink roses on the sides. Very classy and
I know she would love it. We then went to the church afterward for a lunch put
on by the ladies in the ward.
What
did I learn from grandma’s funeral? Lots of things. She really had what was
important in life figured out. It’s so easy to get caught up in worldly
possessions and praise from others, but she had eternal things in site. Making
others happy. Leaving everyone she came into contact with feeling loved. She
wasn’t a super outgoing person. She didn’t like to be the center of attention
or go out much. She made an incomparable impact on those lives that she did
touch, however, in her own small circle of influence. We don’t have to make
newspaper headlines or solve big issues in the world to be important. She made
all the difference in my life, her children’s lives, my cousin’s lives and all
of those primary kid’s lives. She was incredibly important without all of the
hype. What I took away from her funeral was to focus on the things that really matter, and let those things be
your joy. Things get old, fade, and new things will replace them. What doesn’t fade
or get old is the way that you made someone feel. She focused on people, not possessions, and that has
made all the difference.
